she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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