never play flip cup with pint glasses
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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