What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
