i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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