Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
