I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
