just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
