Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
