just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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