you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
