if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
