I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
