The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
