Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
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it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
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Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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