yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I deserve this hangover.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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