this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
