i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
