Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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