There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
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we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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