dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
