i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
me + whiskey = a bad person
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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