I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
