im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
