brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Randomize
