I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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