Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
