it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
