It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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