mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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