he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
