I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
