Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
