sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
you made out with another girl for some wings
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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