Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
