The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
