I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
