In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
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