She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
