It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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