Pappa wants mamma naked
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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