I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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