we have pet lesbian snakes
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
