Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
