dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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