Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
