he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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