if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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