Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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