he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
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I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
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Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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