I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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