Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
