Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
