We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
