in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The feeling are messing with the penis
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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