Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
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