So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
