Dual....:-)
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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