Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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