Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize