At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
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he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
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I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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