I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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