I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
