He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
