somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
