Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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