ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
