You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
