So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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