I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
