I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
