hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
