Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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