I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
she told me i tasted like america
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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